As an alternative means of capturing my thoughts and reflections, I’ve been writing haiku about my teaching practice.This is the tenth post in the series.
As a teacher, I cherish every summer, but this one reached another level of appreciation. This one came on the heels of the most chaotic and unpredictable school year ever. A year I was thankful to survive, it left me hurting. By June, my wounds were throbbing. I was a fulfilled educator who had been hollowed out by remote learning. At the end of it all, I wasn’t even a teacher anymore. Like a fish out of water, I gasping for air until the very last day.
And so, I used this summer to simply breathe. To inhale deep and exhale slow, to breathe in ways that would help me heal. My breaths took many forms. Family getaways. Personal escapes. Great books. Reflective PDs. Lazy days at the park. Brisk laughter. Engrossed writing. Forgetting the day of the week.
The air has never felt as sweet or as full of life as it has this summer. The scars from last year will always be there, but I am restored.
It’s seems fitting that on my unofficial last day of summer, I write a haiku to pay tribute to the last two months of my life.
Summer of justice Giving back what was taken A teacher once more
In June, at the end of the school year, a student of mine described our weekly co-generative dialogue as, “A meeting where you can talk to your teacher and other students about the class and what the teacher can improve on.” Another said, “It’s a safe space where we can talk about anything, but most likely about the class and how it’s going. The student gives feedback and the teacher tries to use that feedback in class.” When reflecting on the effects of the co-generative dialogue, a third student mentioned, “We had more control of how our learning was structured. We got to say our ideas about the class and actually have them taken into consideration.”
Those comments were the result of 24 co-generative dialogues (cogens) I had with 19 different students last year. Each session had 4-6 students, an occasional colleague, and me. We came together every Friday for 30+ minutes to find solutions to making my virtual classroom a success. I started my cogens in October and held them through June. They were both insightful and therapeutic. Midyear, I used a blogpost to reflect on my successes and share my motivations for wanting to keep them going after remote learning.
As I return to school this week, I’m excited to make a steep investment into cogens. Obviously, with in-person learning making its much-needed return this year, things are going to be a little different. Last year I remember thinking about how much more effective in-person cogens could be. The eye contact, the smiles, the shaking of the head — these small conversational details should elevate what my students and I accomplish this year in our talks. Rooted in natural, face-to-face conversation, cogens are not designed to be experienced through a screen and impersonal Zoom icons. After a year of doing them remotely, I finally get the chance to tap into their true magic.
This doesn’t mean I’m not rethinking them. One issue that’s staring me down as I type this sentence is timing. Cogens are worth the investment, but last year, with the flexibility of remote learning, we (my students and I) were able to schedule them conveniently and efficiently. We won’t have that luxury this year. Also, last year, a major obstacle for me was not knowing anyone else who was doing cogens. I was heavily advocated for them and knew their utility, but I had no one to connect to and share ideas with. This year, thankfully, I’ve found a small group of teachers through my fellowship at MƒA who will be meeting once a month to do just that. We’ll also be diving into the research behind this transformative spaces which, I hope, should sprout even more ideas.
In the end, the goal is — just like last year — to simply position myself as a learner from my students. To give them their rightful place at the table. If I can do this, if I can continue to push myself to view my students as key sources of intellectual, social, emotional, and pedagogical insight, then I think my cogens will work out just fine.
Over the past several months I’ve asked some of my colleagues about what they’ve learned from their time spent engaged in remote learning. It was a steep learning curve, but I was curious, what takeaways did they have? What did they learn about themselves? Their teaching? I wanted to use what they said to help learn about myself.
A lot of people I spoke to mentioned their newfound fluency with tech tools like Padlet or Desmos Activity Builder. From content to assessment to organization, these tools changed their pedagogy in major ways. This made sense. Besides, technology was everything for us teaching when it came to reaching our students.
With that said, most of the people I talked to didn’t mention technology as their biggest takeaway from remote teaching. It wasn’t the tech that they would be carrying with them back to the classroom in-person learning resumed. Instead, they highlighted the relationships they learned to foster with students.
Over and over, the need to cultivate positive, authentic relationships with students was what my colleagues rambled on and on about. They talked about how remote teaching revealed to them the importance of connecting with students as people in order to help them learn. This meant prioritizing things like compassion and getting to know students in ways that they had not done in the past.
Implicit in all of my discussions was a glaring dichotomy between content and relationships. In other words, in a classroom, there are issues content and issues of relationship building. They are interdependent, but evolve separately. And for most of my colleagues, after remote learning, there was a need to better balance these two aspects of their teaching.
As a relationship-heavy teacher, I bought into what they were saying. But the more people I spoke to, the closer I got to my own grand revelation.
After hearing so many people profess the necessity of relationships, I realized that the perceived dichotomy of content and relationships is not really what’s going on. At least not for me. t’s not that we have to strive for the perfect balance of content and relationships in the classroom. Instead, teaching is relationships. What I mean is that teaching is, by its very nature, all about caring for and attending to relationships.
It centers itself on the obvious relationship I have with my students, yes, but it’s also about the myriad other relationships that exist inside and outside the classroom. And it is how I help nurture these relationships that defines my role as an educator. Here are some of the relationships that come to mind.
There is my students’ relationship with the content and instruction. How well do they understand the mathematics? To what extent can they use it? How do they feel about it? What’s their history with it? How do I measure all this? How much input do my students have with what happens in class? How are their voices reflected in classroom decisions?
There is my students’ relationships with one another. How well do they work together? Are students’ learning from each other? How do they view other students in our class? What’s the classroom culture like?
There is my students’ relationship to the classroom itself. Whether it is a physical or virtual space, do they like it? Is it welcoming? Does it represent them? How does it help them learn? Is it equitable?
There is my relationship with the content and instruction. How well do I really know the mathematics I’m charged to teach? How much am I pushing myself to help my students experience it in different ways and through different representations? How is technology showing up? Am I settling or uncovering new ways to stretch myself and my pedagogy? Is my pedagogy getting proximate to my students, distancing itself from them, or meandering somewhere in the middle?
There are the relationships I have with my colleagues, which Includes administrators. How do out myself in position to collaborate with them? Is our collaboration mutually beneficial? How much are we learning from each other? Have I even put the right people around me?
There are the relationships I have with parents and guardians. How am I including them in their child’s learning experiences? Am I only doing outreach when there’s something that needs to be improved? What am I doing to better understand and get to know my students’ parents or guardians?
There is the relationship I have with myself. Have I discovered and interrogated my own teacher identity? How does it show in my classroom? Am I modeling authenticity for my students?
To frame teaching as a collection of relationships that I champion and help nurture is more than just theoretical fun. I think it’s a perspective that comes with implications for how I plan, move, and reflect. On a basic level, by viewing teaching as a kaleidoscope of interconnected relationships, I can honor the inherent complexity that comes with teaching. Relationships are hard. They take concerted effort to work. I also feel that it can help to humanize my craft and the many decisions that I make as a teacher because, well, relationships are fundamental to being human. From planning to content to students to pedagogy to setting up our space for learning to professional collaboration, all these relationships remind me that things like respect, trust, communication, joy, acceptance, and encouragement must permeate my teaching from start to finish. Nothing can be more important.
I used to think that good teaching was a healthy mix of pedagogy, content, and student relationships. I see things differently now. Relationships are everything.
This time a year ago I had a crazy idea. Facing what was sure to be an unforgettable and stressful year, it was an idea that would help build community at my school. It would serve to document the school year in a unique way while at the same time helping everyone get to know members of our staff better. In short, it was a way to help us survive.
What was the idea?A staff podcast.
My vision was to have informal conversations with staff members from my school, hit record, and publish the result. The tone of the conversations would be similar to what would take place if we hadn’t seen one another in a while and then bumped into each other after school. Besides, we probably weren’t going to see much of each other anyway, so this made sense. I wanted the talks to be casual with the possibility of getting deep. Chill. Centered around anecdotes and stories. We would reminiscence, laugh, talk social justice, reflect on the pandemic, and welcome whatever else found its way into our talks. I had no problem hosting the podcast myself, but didn’t want to do it alone. I would need to find a co-host.
Ideally, I wanted each episode to feature a different staff member. Our talk would spotlight the guest and their personal narrative. Questions and talking points for the guest would be prepped beforehand by my co-host and I. The guests couldn’t be just teachers, either. The voices of office staff, aides, the custodial team, paraprofessionals, cooks, and school safety had to be included on the podcast. Just like teachers, all of these folks have stories that contribute greatly to our school community, but often get overlooked.
Outside chronicling the school year, a driving force for pursuing the podcast was encouraging staff to be more authentic and share who they are. By being on they would be doing just that. Authenticity can be contagious and I hoped students who listened would be more inclined to be their authentic selves in the classroom because we they would see (and hear) us doing the same thing. The podcast would be public, but remain localized in nature because it would only focus on our school. All stakeholders — including students, parents, perspective parents, donors, colleagues, anyone — would be able to listen and learn about the adults at our school.
I wanted the structure of each episode to be undemanding dialogue. Nothing more, nothing less. No high-end editing, no fancy music, no heavy prep. Very low maintenance. We would sit, hit record, and talk. That’s it. I got the idea from listening to the Three Educated Brothas and 8 Black Hands podcasts. Both are well planned, but informal, seemingly unrehearsed, and largely unedited (at least I think so). As such, I find their humanity to be on full display and wanted the staff podcast to echo this. I preparation for it, last September I even wrote a blogpost about Three Educated Brothas and how it inspired me.
So that was the idea. All I needed to do was to find a co-host. Luckily, my school is overflowing with motivated folks of all kinds. I impulsively pitched it to a teacher who I talk to often, Nikhil Krishna. I figured he might be interested. He got back to me quickly: he was down.
I shared my vision with Krishna. He piled his ideas on top of mine and we were excited to start digging in. For the sake of our own sanity, we figured that we would drop bi-weekly episodes. After some creative back-and-forth texting, the name of the podcast appeared to us in bright lights: 1363 and Me. It’s a play off the address of our school, which is in The Bronx. We hastily found a podcast hosting service and made a logo. 1363 and Me was official. We were on our way.
What transpired next was 24 spirited episodes filled with reflection, fun, and togetherness. We started off slow, lacking confidence (and decent audio) and wrapped things up last month on the final episode comforted by what we created for our school.
The vision we had from jump never changed. We had one guest as the centerpiece of each episode; we asked questions and went wherever the wind took us. That said, throughout the year we did experiment with different segments to liven up our conversations. For example, our “Eating and Reading” segment was one where we asked our guest to talk about a meal they ate and something they read recently. We also added a clever “Student Mailbag” segment late in the year where we would ask the guest questions that came directly from our students. Each episode concluded with the voice of the guest speaking to the relationship they have with our school.
In the end, Krishna and I agreed that our guests, all of whom volunteered their time to be on with us, utterly made the podcast. If what we did resonated in our listeners’ ears in any way, it was solely because of them. Krishna and I tried our best to vary who we had on and included teachers from every department, office staff, custodial staff, kitchen staff, aides, and even alumni. Representation mattered. For what it’s worth, they all made us look good. Their lived-experiences and stories buoyed us all year and gave life to what the podcast hoped to achieve. They talked about their childhoods and their passions. They expressed hopes. They opened up about vulnerabilities.
A lot happened last year. From schools closing to crazy elections to a global pandemic to a vaccine to schools reopening to our principal resigning. Through it all, our guests — our colleagues — showed up for our school community by way of their presence on 1363 and Me. With everything that happened, their voices were needed more than ever. Krishna and I are indebted to them all.
I entered this unusual project thinking that it would be yearlong endeavor. Though we are tempted to keep it going, seeing opportunity to keep broadcasting the stories of our staff, Krishna and I have decided — at least for now — that we will honor our yearlong commitment and step away. The podcast has run its course. It served its purpose. The episodes will stay up for anyone who wants to listen. If not for anything else, we hope the podcast helps us remember some of who and what we were last year. It was quite an adventure.